Cinderella (Camila Cabello) is the odd stepchild living with her stepmother, Vivian (Idina Menzel), and her stepsisters, Moldova (Maddie Baillio) and Narissa (Charlotte Spencer). When King Rowan (Pierce Brosnan) throws a ball all of the young women in town rush to find somebody to love and make all of their dreams come true. This is the story of redemption and the pursuit of happiness in a modern retelling of the classic tale of Cinderella.
It’s no surprise to anyone who has read one of my previous reviews, I tend to hate musicals. I can’t understand the allure of Broadway-esque songs and the random knowledge by each of the characters to perform elaborate dance numbers, because, even in cinema, it’s completely unrealistic. Cinderella doesn’t vere from this unnecessary and less-than-entertaining tradition, ultimately leading to my dismay. I had low expectations going in, but the hope that a modern musical will surprise me always lingers; but it has once again escaped me.
This rendition of the classic Cinderella is nothing short of a ripoff of both Disney and the masterpiece of a soundtrack that it attempts to remix. With model songs such as Somebody to Love by Queen and Material Girl by Madonna, there may be some deep seeded potential that exists within Cinderella, but the modern renditions of said songs destroy the classics and hinder the film to a seemingly unlimited degree. Had the film used former Cinderella-related songs or the soundtrack had consisted entirely of original songs, there is a chance that the soundtrack would have entertained. However, the stolen lyrics fade into nothingness as they are manipulated and bastardized into something useless. The ridiculousness of the Hamilton-like tunes only add to the absurdities of Cinderella, and I couldn’t help but cringe at the start of nearly every song.
There is a silver lining that exists in the soundtrack of Cinderella, and that is the vocals. I am immensely impressed by the vocals of just about all involved, but particularly that of Nicholas Galitzine (Prince Robert); and, in general, what each of the actors brings to the table in regard to their vocal and acting talents is impressive. I was pleasantly surprised by this aspect of the film. My expectations were terribly low, but the vocals, regardless of my expectations, were splendid.
Even with that glimmer of hope that lingers in the shadows, Cinderella quickly loses its appeal due to the fact that the audio/video synchronization is horrifically pieced together. It’s clear that the audio for each of the songs is recorded professionally in a studio setting and paired with the actors as they act out their songs. The beauty of each actor’s voice is lost in the absurdity of the soundtrack and the ineptitude of the sound department, drowning out what could have potentially made the film entertaining and leaving a shell of a film.
Cinderella seemingly aims to be the most woke film of all time, as it explores the idea of gender roles, modern music, and social justice. In addition to this, it seems that Writer-Director Kay Cannon has never heard the phrase “a little goes a long way.” There’s no reason to shove the views of the filmmaker in the face of viewers; a well-written film will convey its message without jamming it down the throats of audiences. With the headstrong Princess Gwen (Tallulah Greive) and the gender-evasive Fabulous Godmother (Billy Porter), Cannon does entirely too much to turn the tides on stereotypes, and as a result she numbs viewers to her intentions.
Cinderella fails before it ever really gets started. The horrific destruction of popular songs, the poor sound editing, and the forced progressive stance on a number of aspects of the film leave it unbearable at times. Even some fans of musicals struggle to appreciate what Cannon does here, leaving an even larger scale of viewers in the dark, wondering why this remake of the classic princess tale was ever made. Borrowing aspects of numerous other popular entities, Cinderella becomes one of the most frustrating films I’ve ever seen, and I can’t help but to wonder if anyone actually enjoyed this film.
Written & Directed by Kay Cannon.
Starring Camila Cabello, Nicholas Galitzine, Idina Menzel, Pierce Brosnan, Minnie Driver, Tallulah Greive, Billy Porter, Maddie Baillio, Charlotte Spencer, James Cordon, James Acaster, Romesh Ranganathan, etc.
⭐⭐⭐½/10
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