In 1985, above a Georgia forest, a drug runner’s plane crashes, dumping an unprecedented amount of cocaine all over the forest–making it readily available to all. When a bear comes across the stash, she takes it upon herself to indulge, and now she threatens anyone and everyone that enters her domain. Cocaine Bear is the story of this bear and her insane escapades after she’s consumed pounds of the dangerous drug. Everyone around her is in danger–it’s survival of the fittest.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that Cocaine Bear is one of the dumbest films that I’ve ever seen. The premise alone, regardless of the fact that it’s loosely based on a true story, is asinine. It’s not a big enough story to warrant a feature-length film–it’s barely big enough to warrant a film at all. The moment the film began it became clear that Cocaine Bear would be something of a shit show, and I couldn’t have been more right. The odd choice of music, the campy acting, the stupid character that kicks things off–there was no way this film could work if it adhered to this algorithm, but it never veers from this, giving it next to no hope of success.
I’ve never seen more pointless characters in my entire life. I can’t understand the purpose of introducing so many characters from so many walks of life into a film about a strung-out bear. They don’t drive the story forward, they don’t make the bear any more interesting–they simply manage to overcrowd the film, being just one more thing moving Cocaine Bear further from success.
I can’t seem to wrap my head around why these actors chose to take these roles. Were they strapped for cash? Did they have an abundance of free time on their hands? Or did they look at this ridiculous film and simply think “fuck it?” I can’t be sure why actors like Keri Russell (Sari), O’Shea Jackson Jr. (Daveed), or Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Peter) chose to participate in this escapade, but they did, and I can’t imagine it got them much of anything in terms of recognition. Their performances are poor–the reality is though that the characters are so poorly written that there’s no saving them (so it’s not entirely the actors’ faults). There’s no way to paint these characters so that viewers are intrigued, and as expected, they fail miserably.
The storyline is all over the place. Cocaine Bear attempts to be a comedy, thriller, drama, and a series of other things. It wants to be a story about a bear on drugs, a story of a mother and daughter, and one of love–but these storylines don’t blend well; they ultimately leave viewers with a dilapidated cluster of crap. None of the storylines are able to develop effectively, and any instance of promise that exists is instantly squashed. With the constant jumping, unestablished storylines, a tone fails to be established as well. This only causes more issues.
The inability to establish a tone is wildly frustrating. Are we supposed to be scared, are we supposed to laugh, are we supposed to become emotionally attached to the wonky, ineffective mother-daughter dynamic? I don’t know–and I’m not sure that Director Elizabeth Banks knows either. I’m not saying she’s a bad director, but the reality is that a film like this is out of her wheelhouse. She clearly doesn’t understand how to reel things in, establish a singular story, or create a tone that resonates with viewers. The ineptitude of this entire crew, from the director right down to the assistants, fail to bring something worthwhile to life. This film is a waste of time and money–and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to wrap my head around why an entire group of intelligent adults believed that this product was acceptable.
Directed by Elizabeth Banks.
Written by Jimmy Warden.
Starring Keri Russell, Alden Ehrenreich, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Ray Liotta, Isaiah Whitlock Jr., Brooklyn Prince, Christian Convery, etc.
⭐⭐⭐/10
Comments